TOYAH’S BLOG: AUG 2013

Category: Toyah's Blog

mainHELLO THERE!

About a month ago hubby and I looked around our home and realised we had boxed up belongings stashed away from two house moves …….14 years ago to be exact.

This “stuff’ was taking up vital room. It is quite breathtaking that two people need so much space. We need space for our eclectic tastes, space for our physical needs (I am always exercising) (he is always reading), space for the things we love AND it has dawned on us space for the things we no longer want to look at.

In my reluctance to face the weeks of unpacking ahead of us in order to acquire more space I came up with a pretty effective and basic solution………
“IF WHAT WE SET OUR EYES ON DOESN’T BRING US JOY AND WE HAVE LIVED WITH OUT IT FOR MORE THAN 5 YEARS………..IT GOES!”

This proved itself a miraculous solution. It took away the youthful burden that everything you have ever touched, or set eyes on in your entire life is a vital ingredient to happiness and must be carried upon your back like a snails shell, under the belief it will enrich your life forever. In our case the snail’s shell was about a hundred stacked cardboard boxes.

Within a few weeks of daily unpacking “stuff”, it was no longer stuff but GONE! Either escorted to the nearest charity shop, distributed around family and friends or hygienically binned! Cripes! I even found boxes of used envelopes, old scraps of discarded lyrics in the sackful, old make up, boxes of socks, boxes of wrapping paper, boxes of music magazines from the 1970’s.

There were some treasures, for example an incredibly tasteful amount of vinyl. From Velvet Undergound to Bowie to Iggy to PERE UBU to all my first test pressings. Original 80s couture and photographs behind the scenes that had completely slipped my memory. There was some joy to be found.

Then it occurred to me what if I addressed life with the same philosophy………..

“IF WHAT WE SET OUR EYES ON DOESN’T BRING US JOY AND WE HAVE LIVED WITH OUT IT FOR MORE THAN 5 YEARS………..IT GOES!”

On the surface this could be a callous and cruel way of dealing with people and things but if approached in an ethical rather than hedonistic way I have found it completely liberating.

Firstly this law doesn’t apply to people. Time moves so quickly at my age, five years now feels like a year. But the principle “ If something doesn’t bring you joy……it goes”, is fantastically freeing with many other cases and issues.

At the age of 55 time is now defined, it is pretty obvious how much I have left, its limitations are clear, so do I want to put up with shit. No. Do I want to carry the burden of other peoples agenda’s BLAH BLAH BLAH. NO!

Like all people my age I have worked hard. Time is now about joy. We must stop buying into the negativity of “empty nesting, down-sizing, ill-health, no-future, over weight, senility, incontinence………BLAH BLAH BLAH” and find JOY.

Why doesn’t the world of commerce sell joy?

I am coming at this from a basic animal experience. Look at the pets you live with. All they require is joy. They don’t require hard sell, fear motivated, controlling advertising and social networking that is basically a way of us all being tagged. They just require joy………..food, the security of being loved, a warm bed and the occasional sexual experience.

Joy is simple, uncomplicated and possible to attain. It has taken me bloody decades to have this insight! Mainly because school and upbringing knocked the principles of joy out of my system, but one can always call it back!

So how has this worked so far…………….
1. I’ve turned down a lot of work, really bad substandard stuff.
2. Turned down newspaper requests because I can no longer stomach the dishonesty that comes back in the printed word.
3. I start my day with a TED lecture………brain food.
4. I am training with the best in the world because I deserve the best and at 55 you are not too over the hill to be physically adventurous.
5. I find two hours in the day to read…….presently…..HIGH CONCEPT…DON SIMPSON AND THE HOLLYWOOD CULTURE OF EXCESS.
6. Do rather than just talk about. Ie: pick up a new skill and learn……..more on this in six months time.
7. Clear clutter.
8. Recognise and make transparent other people’s agendas. This is all around us. And don’t be willing to be controlled by them.
9. Have time for fun. In my case my work is constant fun but also I’m making time for play.
10. Don’t be afraid to tell people how much you love them. I have friends who hate this but for F—‘s Sake once they are gone you cant tell them! So make ‘em take it on the chin!

So to conclude JULY has been quite wonderful.

The opening of the V&A’S FROM CLUB TO CATWALK was a wonderful night. Steve Strange was on great form as were many others. The DURAN’S where milling around with the Spandau’s and the fashion on display was inventive, fantastic and fresh. I felt so proud especially as I had no idea one of my costumes was to be exhibited next to ADAM ANT! Wow that brought back happy joyful memories.

Every minute of every day is filled because I am training at PERFORM ST. GEORGES PARK. I am taking every opportunity to get to maximum strength and fitness. Even though I only train for two hours a day it also means four hours travelling but it is so worth it and I am loving it, it is tough and I love that.

ST. GEORGES is a very eventful place, last week I was circuit training in the gym with OLLY MURS and NICK GRIMSHAW presenting RADIO 1 from the football pitch below, which was a really fun good natured event with invited fans watching on.

Then the next day I ended up in the pool with the MONACO football team…….nice!

And I still managed to get down to London to have fun with Cilla Black over supper. What a role model, she looks wonderful, she is in amazing shape and what a wicked sense of humour………..age is just a number……….life is for living no matter what and where you are……………remember…………….

JOY IS OUR NATURAL STATE AND DON’T LET ANYONE CONTROL YOU BY SAYING IT ISN’T!

Today I am learning the set for ISLE OF WIGHT, the set list for the autumn tour is well underway and THE HUMANS…………..well suddenly there is label interest. So more on that soon!

BE PROUD BE LOUD BE HEARD
LOVE TOYAH
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