I hope you are all OK and that your loved ones are safe.
This time around I feel prepared and practiced for Lockdown2. The terror isn’t so intense.
In fact I never really left LD1.
My hands remain constantly washed and door handles are opened with tissues in hand…. will I ever return to normality after this!?
As soon as LD2 was announced I remembered little things from the last time that were magical, such as the silence and being able to meditate, something I am never “still” enough to achieve usually; the intense focus in our house on creative ideas; the laughter at the absurdity of being forced together as if in prison; treasuring Fripp being safe at home as opposed to constant touring but also I remembered the little things that wound me up ie: Frippy eating Gorgonzola cheese in front of the TV…..the smell! The empty loo roll tubes on the loo roll holders, little piles of Y-fronts everywhere.
My dear, sweet , wonderful husband and I are together 24/7. AND I believe LD has made him a better person, hopefully both of us better persons.
But last Monday I suddenly remembered………….. In LD1 every time I went into the kitchen he would suddenly appear and comment on what I was eating…..ring any bells for anyone?
So I sat him down and explain that the kitchen isn’t always:
A place to observe what another is eating; isn’t always a place to disturb another’s quiet time; isn’t always a place that the two of us have to occupy at the same time.
This may read as harsh but in LD1 Roberts habit of saying “I love to see you enjoy your treats,” meaning me getting some calories and quiet time between phone interviews became two things.
1.A women doesn’t necessarily eat to please an observer.
2.Sometimes people want to eat in silence.
So on Monday I very…VERY……gently explained that in LD its my only real time to be creative without the distraction of the world, also in the mornings when I am having Brekkie I am still waking up and what I eat is my business, I am doing it for energy, not for approval.
This has also revealed to me that LD releases past memories good and bad. One for me was of my mother putting a plate of food in front of me when I was a child and saying “eat it all up or else” and my father telling me I would get fat as I ate it, a contradictory and infuriating experience which I am sure I am not alone in experiencing.
LD does intensify emotions and relationships, it seems an obvious thing to say, but intensity has many levels, good and bad. Sadly we are witnessing too many relationships breaking up, it is unnatural to have this length of confinement, so we both work really hard on “kind honesty”, always talking rather than storing resentments.
This LD is going to have the air of normality for us. The next Cherry Red/ Safari re-release not only need to be completed, they need to be completed before the EU cut off…so we are 12 months ahead of our original schedule to get the product booked into the factories in Poland.
It’s been flat out for months!
Simon Darlow, Frippy and myself will continue on Posh Pop, the new TOYAH album and I am working on a few TV shows, sadly I needed to cancel my Mastermind show due to it being shot in Belfast and I dare not risk Fripp’s health on my return.
There are so many good things about to happen, a TV comedy series in which I have a dream character has just been picked up by the Dad’s Army creative team and hopefully will be in pre-production early 2021. This week a fabulous script about a 62yr old rock star arrived in my “in Box’ and POSH POP is sounding amazing.
I hope and pray that you all find LD2 a little easier than last.
Christmas is coming, Humans are inventive….we will find a way to party.
STAY SAFE.
BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD I AM THINKING OF YOU LOVE TOYAH
